It is Sunday morning and this can only mean one thing. I will have sat through excruciating Saturday night TV with a family sized packet of Doritos, a bottle of wine and a bag of Malteasers. These three items have one thing in common. Have you guessed what it is yet? (I soooo did not write that with a Rolf Harris accent going on in my head) *I did.
All of these items, I have noticed on close inspection, are re-sealable. This does not compute. What a completely utterly pointless thing! Who out there (and I know there are more of you than would care to admit) has ever opened a packet of Doritos (we like to pronounce this Dor-rit-toss, not Dor-reet-toes, because it’s funny) and not finished it on one sitting? For the record, I guarantee you are all now sitting reading this saying Doritos out loud and will never again refer to them as Dor-reet-toes.
But I digress. Once opened never to be resealed. Just doesn’t happen…ever. Not in our house anyway. Also the wine situation is beyond funny. Part of me thinks the introduction of screw tops is a genius idea, allowing me to open my favourite tipple anytime anywhere without the need of a cork screw. On the flip side I have no intention of ever needing to screw the lid back on to keep my wine in tip top condition. Nope, an open bottle is a finished bottle. So we move on to the Malteasers. These are brandished family packets or sharing packets. If you actually share these out they don’t go very far at all. Trust me. An open packet of Malteasers brings people scrabbling like a pack of beagles to a dropped kibble of food to get a piece of the action. A resealable tab is not required here!
You could also argue that Pringles are a contradiction in terms. I mean, surely if we are led to believe their irritating slogan “once you pop you just can’t stop,” there should be absolutely no need for the plastic lid? You are with me on this aren’t you.
What other substances can you think of that have a pointless resealable tab or lid?
Now, someone hand over the snacks!