In The Event Of An Emergency……

We have all sat there on a plane taxiing down miles of runway feeling fairly certain that we will shortly arrive at our destination without even taking off.  Meanwhile we absolutely do not stick our nose in a magazine, fall asleep or inspect the contents of the seat pocket in front of us rather than watching the important emergency procedures presentation.  “Exits are here, here and here. Should the air cabin pressure fail, oxygen masks will drop down from the panel above you. Place the mask over your mouth and nose and tighten, blah blah blah.” But what we don’t generally hear is, “Make sure you put on your shoes before assisting others.” Or do we?

Flight Attendant In Life Jacket

So when I had a nasty fall at Christmas I found out how seriously my husband takes accident and emergency instructions.  We were staying with family and had taken the two beagles with us. The house we stayed in was not beagle proof.  The back door led out to the garden, which was to the left and the driveway to the right led down to a busy main road.

The dogs wanted to go out, so to prevent them from rushing down the drive I thought I would hold on to both their collars, and as I opened the door I would attempt to steer them left towards the safety of the garden.  I opened the door and in an instant, and true to beagle spirit, they both charged out, pulling me out of the back door and up the two concrete steps to the driveway as I fell heavily onto my knees whilst my throat broke my landing on the edge of the step. It could be said that I hit the ground like a lift cut loose in a disaster movie. Ouch! I was winded and couldn’t speak and started to imagine a Christmas in hospital, ambulances, I must have damaged my windpipe; surely I must only have minutes to live? Some may call me a hypochondriac but I prefer to call it medically imaginative. Perhaps that’s what you get from watching too much Holby City?


As I lay there my daughter came to see if I was OK. All I could do was groan. She fled in a state of panic and through worried tears shouted to my husband to come quickly.  I then heard her shout at him to hurry up!  Before I caught any sight of him, his auntie rushed out into the darkness and the rain, checked I could move my neck and lifted me up and helped me inside.  I was only marginally annoyed at the request for BOTH doors to be opened so I could get through!  Charming! Like a compass going berserk my hips may have squabbled for opposite poles of East and West after having children, but really there was no need to point it out!


True to British tradition I was plied with hot sweet tea for shock and seated.  As I sat and drank my tea I noticed my husband’s  auntie had no shoes on and her feet were wet.   It was only then I wondered where my husband had been in all this commotion, as he appeared to be hovering in the background.  I questioned his noticeable absence from the scene of the accident, wondering what could possibly have kept him from coming to the aid of his wife who might have had a fatal accident.  I kid you not, I thought I was dying at one point.  At this my daughter piped up in fury, “He was putting his shoes on!!”  Great! I was lying there unable to move, frightened for my life, visions of horror flashing through my mind, but worst of all, worrying that I might have to endure a hospital Christmas dinner.  Meanwhile my husband was putting on his shoes while his family rushed to my assistance! Simply marvellous.  When I challenged him on this his response was, “I arrived on the scene, made a quick triage assessment through the window and decided it wasn’t fatal and so I had time to put my shoes on.” For real I tell you!

Man Tying Shoe Laces

So clearly in the event of an accident or emergency, always make sure you put on your shoes before assisting others! I await my next flight this summer to see if the pre-flight passenger safety briefing has adopted these new instructions.  In the meantime, if I decide to have any more accidents I most certainly shall not be calling for help from my husband…..unless he already has his shoes on!

Todds on Tour – The Gaff

We finally arrived at our luxury resort.  The girl had done good. What a blinder! This couldn’t have been more up my street if I had tried.  My mother would have felt quite at home, it being a gated development with security and everything. The only thing it lacked for her to feel completely comfortable was a Marks and Spencer Simply Food.  The resort was impeccably kept with beautiful gardens and so quiet. All the cars were parked underneath the buildings and so there were very few cars about. Quite the opposite to the hustle and bustle of the frantic campsite we have been to for the last couple of times.

Saint Endreol, Le Muy

Our beautiful villa remained so for approximately 23 minutes, which was long enough for our children’s room to resemble a war zone, having emptied the entire contents of their suitcases on the floor in search for swimming gear.  It wasn’t long before my husband had smashed the curtain pole off the wall in their room in an attempt to swat a mosquito and our room also quickly slid into disarray. We both lived like pigs and stepped out of our sweaty or wet clothes and left them on the floor much like two teenagers.  After all we were on holiday too and so too it appeared were our neat and tidy habbits!

At any one moment in time there were at least 6 wet towels on the floor of the bathroom and the kids slept in unmade beds for 10 days.  They slept on top of the bed covers for a week much to the cleaner’s confusion who after a week made up the beds with sheets.  After another 5 days we pointed out to them that they were actually meant to sleep under the sheets. They didn’t know what they were! Bless

Having realised that all our electricity was included in the price we washed all our clothes at least once and again before we packed them to come home.  The luxury of having air condition in the bedrooms was also slightly abused by us leaving it on full pelt for the entire two weeks day and night.  Well there was no mention of polite requests to only turn it on if absolutely necessary.  The garage door became a thing of novelty and we opened and closed it on many occasions and not just to get the car in and out.

So it is safe to say we made ourselves well and truly at home and made good use of the facilities, determined to get maximum value for our money. After all, we had a new suitcase to buy after one we brought with us broke monumentally in the airport.  About time we ditched the “pikey” bag we got from Frigginrola Fuengirola market!

5:2 Diet Update

Hi all!

I havent posted for a couple of days.  I haven’t posted as I have been thinking, reading and mulling over.  Today I have decided to stop my trial/review of the 5:2 Diet.  Here is why:

  1. Fasting or eating very few calories has resulted in disrupting my sleep quite noticeably.
  2. There are too many unknowns about the long term effects of eating like this.
  3. Too many people will assume that you really can eat whatever you want on your 5 days and lose weight. You won’t!
  4. I am not convinced that all calories are equal so are we even actually eating 500 calories.
  5. Eating this way does not encourage the right relationship to have with food.
  6. All the forums and discussion groups are a vicious circle of questions which never get answered. Is this because there has been no published scientific evidence.  Even if there was, how do we no it hasn’t been manipulated to suggest what it wants us to believe?
  7. Why should I have to feel hungry 2 days a week. What is right about that? Surely if I just ate the RIGHT food consistently throughout the week I would not feel hungry and I would find my optimum weight naturally?
  8. I wasn’t really giving the diet a true test as I was not investigating the health benefits.
  9. Isn’t it a no brainer that over a course of week if you reduce your calorie intake by say 3000 calories albeit over two days, you are bound to lose weight anyway?
  10. I was advised to STOP this diet right now by a health professional and watch this ….